Looking ahead

Awhile back, I wrote about my concerns regarding what I’ll do in retirement. I have lots of ideas, but that’s the essence of the problem. Which ones will I actually do? How will I choose? Should I focus on a few things or touch on many? No progress to report on this issue yet.

So, I’m thinking about another issue – aging. Or, maybe maturing is a better word. What’s that going to be like?

With both of my mid-80s parents in memory care assisted living, I’m not too optimistic about my later years. But, what about my 60s and 70s? Could they actually be “the best years of my life” as some have claimed?

Specifically, there are three aging/maturing-related things I found myself wondering about this past weekend.

1. Will the Sunday blahs ever stop?

Ever since grade school, Sundays have been downers. I can’t seem to shed the weight of Mondays and school/work. Even though I usually enjoyed both, I preferred days of freedom-to-choose-what-I-do. Except on Sundays. When I have more days off, will Sundays get better? And, will days off get worse?

2. Will I finally learn to recognize how complicated things are before I undertake them?

Whether it was at home or at work, with projects or relationships, I have always underestimated the complexity and the challenges involved. I usually see the desired destination in vivid detail, but the route from here to there is often nearly invisible to me . . . until I start the journey. Will more years and continued efforts to be more objective help me in this regard? And, if so, will I enter the fray more prepared, or will I simply undertake less?

3. When I look back even a few short years at some of the things I’ve said and done and not done, will I ever stop thinking how immature/naïve/short-sighted I was?

This is natural, I’m sure, and generally fully warranted through the teens, twenties, and maybe into the thirties. But, I didn’t expect it to continue full bore into the forties, the fifties, and now in the early 60s. Will I ever “get it right” the first time? Or, do I really want to? If I reach the point where my actions of the past few years look perfect, I guess I will have stopped growing, right?

So, I’m hoping to get over the first two, and I’ll try to learn to live with the third. But, I’m a little worried that some Sunday evening early in my retirement years, I’ll find myself feeling morose, realizing I’m only half way through what I thought was a simple weekend project, and thinking I would have done this much BETTER a few short years ago.