With freedom come responsibilities

On my way to work earlier this week, it dawned on me that my highly structured life –directed initially by parents, then teachers, then work – will soon be coming to an end. After 62 years of externally imposed structure, I’ll finally experience true freedom. No one will care where I am or what I’m doing.

That’s right. No one will care. And this, to many, may be the most challenging difference between being employed and being retired.

A job not only provides a paycheck and something to do, it also surrounds us with people who care what we do –coworkers, customers, vendors, etc. And, that gives us structure, and purpose, and relevance outside of our own skin.

My spouse, kids, and pets, of course, all have significant vested interests in my activities, and me in theirs, but the degree of life structure this imposes on me is quite minimal. This may change somewhat post-retirement (by spousal decree, you know), but for the most part, I’ll be on my own.

This, I believe, is why so many retirees feel adrift. They never before had to make their life happen; they just had to go to work and there it was. Once retired, they find themselves out of the mainstream and with a life devoid of structure. And, unless they do something about it, they soon begin to fade away, much like how objects lose their clarity, vibrancy, and significance as they fade into the distance.

I see this – literally – in my parents, now in their third year in an assisted living facility, and even more in some of the homeless people – the ultimate retirees – who spend their days in the park. The ones new to the “home” or the streets look fresh and are very aware of their surroundings. But, they soon begin to fade. Even their skin takes on a distinctive pallor while their clothes fade to an almost uniform grey-brown, and they no longer seek human interaction. Whether in the care facility or on the streets, they have become irrelevant to the mainstream of life and are slowly fading into the distance.

But, this can be avoided. We just have to assume the responsibility to make our new life happen. It’s up to us to create the structure of our lives – with family activities, volunteer work, hobbies, a part-time job, or whatever. And, we need to do it with purpose. We must at least think about our new “job description,” including objectives. What do we want to accomplish? When? What are the steps involved? And, how will we know when we’ve succeeded?

Without this approach to our new lives, we’re not what I would call retired, we’re just unemployed. And adrift. And soon fading into irrelevance.

That’s certainly not what I want to do with my upcoming freedom.